Followers

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

New beginnings: The first few hundred words

This months' writing challenge at  http://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com.au
is about new beginnings.   I love them.  I love starting something new and I have discovered over the years that I am very good at starting new things -  it is the completion, the seeing it through, that I find a challenge.   I have had some association with Christian Romance writers.  Perhaps to really get something new going, I should try my hand at the genre and see if it fits.  So here is a beginning of perhaps a new story for my contribution to this month's challenge.

Shelby Cole hurtled toward her future at six hundred and fifty two miles an hour.  
From thirty thousand feet she hoped the view of the unknown would be clearer, but all she could see before her was the shaking back of the seat in front.

She turned to the leather bound book in her lap and scanned the dense page reading familiar words which at this moment took on a whole new meaning.  ‘In the beginning was the Word…’   
It became her new chapter, her unwritten page, waiting, anticipating, lying open to receive …

The shudder of deceleration woke her a few hours later and she peered through the clouds to watch the new world rise up to meet her with an offering of lush vegetation. The tall palm trees also waved their welcome.  

As she claimed her luggage from the carousel, she scanned the crowd for a familiar face.  
Someone shoved a pig under her nose and spoke through red and broken teeth in a staccato pidgin; another pushed a basket of a hairy yellow tubes at her.    The fragrance rising from the swirling crowd was a greasy mix of coconut and body odour.  Shelby delighted in it.  She let it reach her expanding heart, knowing this was the new beginning she had chosen.   

Oh, and here he came now, the one who had chosen her.  
‘Bradley’, she croaked through her sudden thirst.  He waved from above the crowd and arrived with a bunch of fresh tropical flowers.   
‘This way’.  He said taking her hand.  


Shelby Cole’s future struck her with a blast of humid air as she stepped from the terminal.  It sucked at her lungs, toyed with the moisture from her body and then abandoned it to remain on her skin where it turned to glue.  It plastered her hair to her cheek and adhered her blouse to her back and arms. . . 

Would you like the challenge of continuing this story or should we leave Shelby at the hot and sticky entrance to her new life?   New beginnings are like that too,  unwritten.

28 comments:

  1. Sue Sander - Writer12 January 2014 at 16:51

    Love this 'new beginning'... I want to know what happens to Shelby after she steps through the 'hot and sticky entrance to her new life'. Love your work, Raelene x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sue. It kinda ends there for the time being. Hey perhaps it could even be the end point!! Catch up soon.

      Delete
  2. Hi Raelene, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Chris, Thanks. So retirement is a kind of new beginning, heh? Your photos are refreshing as we swelter today in above 30 C. This is where I post creative stuff. I do have another blog artstoartists.wordpress.com which I use for articles and other essays. Thanks again for coming by. See you again soon.

      Delete
  3. keep going I would like to read more

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kerrie. Messaged you from my phone. Not entirely sure where this story goes from here. But no doubt it will percolate and emerge some how later.

      Delete
  4. This is an interesting story, but I felt you need to take a little more care in orienting the reader about the main character, her overriding motive, where she's headed, etc. It requires a little too much guesswork on the part of the reader. A phrase or word here and there could have made it easier to fall into this story.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for that. Will keep that in mind if it develops into something else.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loved this new beginning Rae. The plane was a great idea for an orientation. I loved the sensuous feeling of her arrival ~ the sights and smells. Do continue this story. I want more. Perhaps another instalment for Ellie next doormonths challenge ?

    Lovely to have an entry from you...

    Denise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Denise. Always appreciate your encouragement.

      Delete
  7. Hello,
    I found both the opening and ending very interesting. Enjoyed the story. Many places she could go from here, would love to read more.
    Best wishes,
    Nilanjana.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nilanjana. Yes, it is just the beginning!!

      Delete
  8. Intriguing beginning.
    Good luck with your writing.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's WEP for January 2014

    ReplyDelete
  9. Would be interesting to see where you take Shelby. I like the depth you already have here. Good luck with it! Came over from WEP...! Happy new year.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Excellent introduction to Shelby - great description and enough of a story to get the reader interested and wanting more! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Yolanda, appreciate your comments.

      Delete
  11. I know that feeling. Muggy or dry heat deflates me.

    How does Shelby feel about heat? Some like it. Some hate it. That would have an effect on how she greets her new home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think she is expectant and has a sense of calling and that any obstacle like that she would meet head on.

      Delete
  12. Hi, Rae,

    WOW... FANTASTIC descriptions! I am all for them. I could so relate to that humidity living in south Florida for nine years and NINE SUMMERS! LOL. Definitely go with it! See where it takes you and us...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Growing up in New Guinea, I do not remember the humidity being so bad but when I returned in 1991 for a visit, it was suffocating and paralysing. A bit like today in Brisbane!!

      Delete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whoops! Sorry about that...

    This is beautiful, Raelene! Took me right back to India :)

    Found you thanks to the WEP. I think you should run with this one! Huzzah for new beginnings and new stories. You have quite a way with descriptions. Keep it going!

    Cheers,
    Jen (new follower)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello Jen, Welcome. Thanks so much for your encouragement. Look forward to hanging out in 2014.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That was a wonderful start. Loved the first line :) Yes, this going to be an eventful story, I can already tell. Nice to see you around again Raelene.

    ........dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna, I think I replied from my phone, but thanks again for your comments. As i said I am practicing first lines and spending the time to beat them in to shape - that's what it feels like anyway!

      Delete
  17. It's an attention grabbing beginning leaving the reader wanting more - hopefully we will find out more at a later date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sally, thanks for that. i am glad you would like more... I'm not sure when that would happen but i am sure it is gestating somewhere in the back of my imagination

      Delete